


The Sardonyx Show!

by Vriskaserbet



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: also my headcanons will show up here and there, thats right i didnt wait ONE DAY to write about Sardonyx because i love her that much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:25:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4313847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vriskaserbet/pseuds/Vriskaserbet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to The Sardonyx Show! Hosted by the lovely fusion, Sardonyx, listen in as she interviews the wide cast of characters in Steven Universe! Or aka/ a fun lil fic thats just an excuse to write sardonyx talking and show off my headcanons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The one and only!

The Sardoynx Show!  
Chapter 1: The One and Only!

///////////////////////////////////

"Hello, y'all! This is Sardonyx, coming to you live from the currently stable, currently with a giant hole through the roof so I can fit in, radio station! I am your host, and I shall be taking you down this majestic road of information that I can find with the blink of one of my eyes! I have four, in case you were wondering. Now, lets' start off with the most important person in the entire city, in the ENTIRE universe! My lil' man, Steven Universe himself!"

"Hi there! I'm, uh, Steven!"

"Now, Steven, how does it feel to be on air?"

"I'm a bit nervous, actually! But it's' really fun! Like, everyone can hear everything I'm saying and they really can't stop me from talking!"

"Its' a mesmerizing effect, isn't it?"

"It really is!"

"Now, another question, is about your gem. Is it all shiny and clean! No cracks, no dents, no smudges?"

"Nope, it seems just fine! The worst is usually has is just tiny pieces of lint from my shirts."

"Good to hear! Now, what's' your weapon? Is it the same as your mommas'?"

"Yeah, I got a shield and I can make protective bubbles! Oh, and I have healing spit!"

"Healing spit? Hahaha! Oh, thats' just something you would have, Steven. Momma Rose Quartz had healing tears, but believe me, there's' something about healing spit I like a lot more!"

"Hey, Sardonyx..."

"Yes, my Steven?"

"Can you tell me anything about mom?"

"......Well, my information about her isn't as extensive as I wish it could be. Garnet and Pearl didn't fuse that often, and usually only for extreme battles. But I can assure you, my Steven, that you are your momma. Sweet, kind, adorable, funny, and just a big ol' ball of sunshine to be around!"

"Aww, thank you Sardonyx."

"Anytime, Steven, anytime. Now, I'd like to go on and on, and believe me I will as you get to know me, but! It seems like the next guest has arrived on set and it's' about time for commercial break! Now, keep listening in ya'll, more of these interviews are gonna keep coming! I ain't stopping yet, so I hope ya'll enjoy it! Say goodbye, Steven Universe!"

"Bye!"

"And I, Sardonyx, say goodbye as well, but only for now! See you soon!"


	2. Chapter 2: Angry + confused + paranoid = Our guest!

The Sardonyx Show!  
Chapter 2: Angry + confused + paranoid = Our guest!  
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

"Hello, ya'll! Did you miss me, your lovely radio host, Sardonyx? Now, I do hope so, and you're just begging for some more of my interviews, since my next guest is up, sitting just pretty in here chair! Of course, she isn't just pretty, she's' pretty nervous! So lets' all try to chill and welcome her slowly into this wonderful world of radio! Give it up, but don't be too loud now, for Peridot!"

"......... C-Can everyone hear this? Including the rest of those... crystal gems?"

"Sweetheart, yes! However, this radio station is private lands! No one can trace anything here!"

"Not even Homeworld?"

"Not even, Peridot. But, don't be nervous! Pearl and Garnet may want to destroy you, but I don't! I simply want information, Peridot, along with the masses of people listenin' in!" 

"A-Alright, fine. Just... make sure you don't unfuse while I'm running away, alright?"

"Got it. Now, question number one, what is up with those floaty fingers? Are those natural in Homeworld now?"

"Well, I-I... I don't know how much I should really tell you, but, Homeworld has made great strides to edit developing gemstones to insure they are perfect! During the time as I was being formed, they were experimenting with an idea for us gems made for keeping information, monitoring projects and experiments, and... well, you get the gist now, right?"

"Ah, they're still thinking that certain gems are only good for certain jobs. Do continue!"

"So, they edited my, along with others, gemstone to tamper with my physical form permanently. The idea, from what I've been able to gather, is that we Peridots, along with other gems meant for my job, don't need certain... abilities as others gems do. So, they thought that editing our arm limbs to always be digital and connected to my job would be much better than our previous forms. At first, many of Peridots didn't take the editing well. Some never popped out of their gemstones, some came out horribly defected, and others digital limbs constantly glitched and malfunctioned. But I was one of the few that proved the idea is an success!" 

"I see, I see.... anything else, Peridot?"

"Oh, um... its' actually a pretty new idea. I'm not that old, really..."

"Well, for all you viewers at home, we gems don't really care for age. Yes, we list down how long ago an important event happened, or say, 'its' going to be five hours until we get there.' But, when it comes to our own personal age, many do keep track of it but we don't do anything for it. No birthdays, for example! Steven taught us all about birthdays. Such a shame we don't celebrate age like ya'll do!"

"....Birthdays?"

"Oh, its' fantastic, Peridot! Let's' say a human is born on... let's' say the third day of an month!"  
"Yes, thats' an very easy to understand hypothesis."

"So, a whole year passes. On that certain month, on that day the baby was born, everybody celebrates the fact that it has been a whole year since then!"

"Ah, I see. How do they celebrate?"

"It depends on how old the child is! See, some birthday games are seen as for younger children, and others are for more older people. But, something that's' always there is a cake! Its' food, so don't even try to think about it, Peridot."

"Huh. Humans celebrate these birthdays so... weirdly. So... happily."

"Aw, that just ain't your thing, Peridot?"

"It sounds like it wouldn't." 

"But it sounds like, to me and hopefully to some of ya'll out there, you ain't pushing it completely away!"

"W-Well, I just haven't seen one in action! I don't even know what half of the things you're talking about are about! Maybe birthday parties are the one good thing on this worthless planet!"

"I would love to show you a birthday party, but I got a show to run, and a show that's 'bout to stop so the viewers can enjoy the easy flow of the commercials!"

"Commercials?"

"Thats' another talk for another time! My next guest will be comin' soon, I promise ya'll! So lets' all say goodbye to our confused, angry lil' gemstone, Peridot! Say bye, Peridot!"

"Good riddance! Also, don't look for me again!"

"If you say so! And I, Sardonyx, say goodbye as well, but only for now! See you soon!"


	3. Recovering with a little sweetness!

The Sardonyx Show!  
Chapter 3: Recovering with a little sweetness!

 

////////////////////////

"Well.... oh mah stars, that episode did not, in fact, go any which way I wanted it to. Hoo boy. I'm real sorry folks, for the way my fusion components, Garnet and Pearl, acted in this episode. Well, mainly the latter. Mostly the latter. What she did... it ain't right. But don't get nasty, now! Pearl is going to work vigorously until she fixes all that has been wronged! But, I think it's' finally time we clear away the negativity for now, for this single instant, for this one time! Can ya'll sacrifice that and listen to me? I swear, I shall be using the best of my words to properly entice your ears, your minds, your hearts, into keeping that promise to yourself and to me, and to our next quest. Speaaaaking of that, it is time that I show ya'll the adorable lil' guest we have next! Oh, shes' a real sweetheart, I just tell you, you'll love her! You'll have to expand your heart just so you can give the love this sweetheart deserves! Give it up forrrrrr...... SADIE!"

"Woah, um, is it finally time for me to speak? Ah, sorry, I wasn't ready!"

"Oh, my excuses, Sadie! I just can't stop talking! Its' just so much fun."

"Yeah, I've noticed. You do have a really nice voice. Um, for the radio career, and all that."

"Why thank you! Your voice is just as nice! Good for speaking to those vital consumers at the Big Donut?"

"It is! That, and being more friendly to the customers then Lars. He can be a real grouch, I tell you."

"Ahhh, Lars. Lars, Lars, Lars. Troubled lil' boy, isn't he?"

"Yeah... he's' done some bad stuff to, but I think he's' still a good person! He has a lot of issues, and I don't blame him for having them."

"No one really can. Expect those who try! But those ones? Unneeded."

"Heh, yeah! But, um, is Lars going to be on this show? I just kind of got dragged here without being told until the last second. I'm not offended, its' just that... Lars is more sensitive when it comes to being 'out' there, you know?"

"OHOHOHO! Of course that boy is gonna come aboard! I did think to myself of that boys' nervousness, so when I broke into his house, I asked him if he wanted to join before dragging him into my personal, lovely studios. He said yes! Of course, it might take a while for him to make his way down here. He has to prepare, of course."

"Thats' good to hear! Speaking of which, do you do anything to prepare on the show? It seems like you and I are just casually talking, rather than me answering questions you have."

"I have my cue cards and questions up in here! To you listeners, I just pointed at my forehead. Well, what I have at least! OohOHOHO! With my slightly off-centered, gorgeously orange, shining eyes and my equally sparkly, well kept, well made forehead gemstone, I just can't find enough space to point at!"

"I noticed your forehead gem! But, now that you mention it, your top eyes are a bit off-centered. T-They're still pretty!"

"I know they are! They've always been pretty! Now, what was I going on about? Just kidding, I don't forget a single thing! I'm just too smart for that. Now, I just think of things I wanna know. And of things I already know. Then I see if things I already know can explain the things I don't know. What is left is how I try to steer the conversation to!"

"Thats'... really smart how you do that! I'm not that smart when it comes to talking. I just say stuff and I hope people agree with it, or keep talking about it with me."

"And that's' just fine! I am a fusion, sweetheart! You're just a human. An adorable human."

"Aw, you're making me blush."

"That I am. Now, does anyone else make you blush? Tell Sardonyx, she just wants to knooooow!"

"Woah! Did you just twist your bod-"

"Its' a little trick I can pull off, just show off that nice lil' quality I got, being all special. Now, who is that person?"

"Well... everyone can hear this, so I don't wanna say!"

"Not even a hint for us, to speculate and guess, to pick and pull apart at the small threads and try to reconnect them? ....Not even for me?"

"Alright, just for you, Sardonyx! Only because you're good at making me talk."

"Ohohohoho!"

"Its' a guy. And no matter what anyone thinks of him or sees him as, he's' always going to be a guy in my eyes. Maybe he doesn't do the right thing at points, or maybe he gets' sad and scared over small things, or stuff that only exists in his head, but at least he has the courage to fight against them! To the point where I didn't even notice that he could even be dealing with those things...."

"Hmmmm....."

"What? You're giving me a look...."

"I feel as though... you got more than just that guy."

"....Theres' only one more."

"OHOHO! I was right again!'

"Um, I'm still getting to know him but... he's'... interesting. But I like that! He's not really like other people, and at least he believes in what he believes in, never backing down. While his views aren't normal, he does whatever he can to make it as justified as normal stuff!"

"And is he succeeding?"

"No, not really. But hey, he's' giving it his all!" 

"From what you've been telling me, I feel as though I can believe that to. But you know what I just can't believe, sweetheart?"

"What?"

"I can't believe its' finally time to sign off!"

"Is it really? Gosh, I totally lost track of the time. Sorry that all we did was talk about people I like, and not anything interesting."

"Its' interesting to everyone, my sweetheart! Now, have a great time. And save a donut for me!"

"I thought Pearl didn't like food."

"I'm not Pearl, am I?"

"Oh, right, you aren't. Sorry!"

"Its' alright now, sweetheart, I'll forgive you. Now, say bye!"

"Bye! I hope I can come on here again!"

"I promise you will! But, repeat guests won't come in for some time now, I can assure you listeners, so by the time you finally catch my next interview, it'll be a whole new experience! Ohohoho! Whoops! I better get to the end quick, or I'll be interrupted by the commercials! Give me a second..... and I, Sardonyx, say goodbye as well, but only for now! See you soon!"


	4. What You All Wanted!

The Sardonyx Show!

Chapter 4: What You All Wanted!

//////////////////

"Hello, ya'll! The lovely Sardonyx is back, bringing you the freshest things I can possibly offer! Now, guess who is also back? Me! But, in the terms that I am addressing, I am back on our favorite show, Steven Universe! It was only for a brief moment, but my appearance was much needed! It shows how the relationship between Garnet and Pearl is beginning to repair! But you know whats' even more important then that? The fact that you all saw my beautiful self again! OHOHOHO! Ah, now then, we have an guest on the show, and I shall be interviewing her! Shes' an lovely lady ya'll want to see again, and I cannot disclose anything outside of the questions and answers I get, but I'm sure this will make you happy! Lets' all rejoice our guest..... Lapis Lazuli!"

"Do the people on this planet really like me that much?"

"You're an cinnamon roll, Lapis Lazuli, the fans love you. Besides, lots of bad things have happened to you! In such a short amount of time."

"Hah, you can say that again. The mirror, then being captured on Homeworld, and fusing with Jasper... speaking of which, how did you find me so easily when the Crystal Gems couldn't?"

"I have my resources." 

"At the very least, I'm glad that Jasper is put in a special place while this is happening. I haven't had a single moment of rest, physically or mentally, since I fused with Jasper."

"Understandable! Now, shall I ask some of those questions I have?"

"Sure, go ahead. Thats' why I'm here, right?"

"Exactly, Lapis Lazuli. Now, how do you view my lil' boy, Steven? In your own eyes, how do you define your relationship with him?"

"Hmmm..... Steven is... kind. Really sweet to, and hes' funny! I'm a fan of anyone who can listen to me make fart noises for hours."

"You hear that, listeners? If you like fart noises for hours, you might just be in Lapis' league."

"Oh, and our relationship? ....I think we're friends, you know? I don't know much about him, and he doesn't know much about me. But he cares for me, and worries for me, and tries to help me. And I do whatever I can to protect him and the things he loves, even if I don't like those things."

"I think that says a lot about you, Steven, and friendship as a whole."

"Mmm, it does, doesn't it?

"Now, for my next question.... is there anything on this planet that you like?"

"The ocean!"

"You answered that so quickly! You really are an water gem, OHOHOHO! Tell me, what makes the ocean so great! Other then the fact that its' water."

"But the water is one of the main reasons why! The way it feels, the way I can control it and manipulate it... oh, but I do like the animals that live in it! The fish, underwater fauna, sharks, the dolphins... they're all so unique, and they all live together, they all just.... manage to find a way to exist in one place at the same time."

"You remind me of...."

"Hm?"

"N-Nevermind, ohoho! I was just mumbling, its' nothing to worry about! Now, I got another question about the ocean and all that. Now, on Homeworld, do any of the oceans that were on it still exist?"

"Well... yes, theres' still oceans. But from what I've seen, they're exclusively for just producing gems that can be created in the water. Theres' even signs that say only gems that work there can enter."

"Back in my day, the ocean was also use mainly for that. But some gems swam in their free time, or practiced their skills by trying to catch our marine animals. We don't have much life other then gems on Homeworld, from my experience, but we did have some here and there."

"I remember that to. But, on Homeworld today, theres' even less life. I saw no animals. I heard none of the familiar calls that our animals made. I think... Homeworld got rid of them all."

"I... suspected that. Its' terrible that all of those poor creatures had to die. And I bet just so they wouldn't get in the way!" 

"Sadly, I think you hit the mark."

"This information is nearly depressing me, but its' helpful to see how depraved Homeworld can get. Now, we can know what to expect from our foes, if anymore come down to Earth."

"Do you think they'll be coming down here anytime soon?"

"I'm collecting that information as we speak."

"I hope theres' no more Homeworld gems. I can barely handle Jasper, and having to fuse with another one of them to protect you guys... hah, it might be too much."

"I promise that this time, my team and I will protect Earth on our own!"

"Thats' good to hear! But, for now, I need to protect Earth as well, by keeping Jasper fused and under chains." 

"Speaking of that, you might have to do that right now! Since, its' time to sign off! Commercials and all that."

"Oh, I see.... I wish I could keep talking to you, Sardonyx. But, thats' just me being selfish."

"You aren't selfish, not even for a second! You're selfless and altruistic, not selfish!"

"Thank you, Sardonyx... now, goodbye everyone! Whether or not something good happens to me in the future episodes of Steven Universe... you'll have to see."

"And you'll just have wait and see who will my next guest shall be! And I, Sardonyx, say goodbye as well, but only for now! See you soon!"


End file.
